Haute Couture

Ugh! I have had enough of writing part of a 30 page marketing plan on calling cards. MBA classes be damned! Although I am in a group with 7 other people we are apparently ALL procrastinators. We had to come up with a new product, write a 30 page marketing plan and give a presentation. We started today. It’s due Wednesday….no, not a few Wednesday’s from now but as in 4 days. Couldn’t at least one of us be a go-getter??

So, I’m going to take a break from writing to…well….write. But believe me, this is much better than writing about the marketing of calling cards with Mexican flags on them. I smell an 'A', how bout' you?

Here’s a segment I like to call: making fun of high fashion ads.

I received my copy of Harper's Bazaar in the mail the other day. I like high fashion just like the next girl, even if it would take piecing together multiples of the same item to get them to cover my body. For sure some of them stop at like size six….and they run small. I wouldn’t pay that kind of money for clothes anyway. Bitter party of one your table is ready.

So as I flipped through the ads, I just couldn't help but notice the hilarity of some of them. Here are my favorites.

Jean Paul Gaultier

WTF. If you saw this add would you buy these clothes? How about any single piece of this outfit? This is a witch, a bagpipe player and a court jester all rolled into one. Not exactly what I would think of wearing to a day at the office, or a date, or to the grocery store, or even to a Haloween party. Who buys this shit? Oh, and does she have a beard? Is that trendy now? If so, I can stop laser treatments immediately.

Missoni

This is the love child of a popcicle stick, a human, and a Chinese jumprope. You just may be able to pack this woman in your carry-on luggage.

Chanel

Noooo Chanel! You are usually so classy. If I didn’t know better, this ad could have been taken from my mother’s 1985 copy of Harper’s. There is too much color and shit going on for me to even see straight. The woman modeling this outfit looks pissed and I would be pissed too. I’d have started the day psyched that I got a modeling job. Psyched that I’m modeling for Chanel. Pissed when I saw this 1980’s outfit. The 80’s CAN NOT COME BACK. To convince you, this is what I looked like in 1988.

Not pretty. This can’t be allowed to happen again.

Gucci

Note to everyone. This fall, make sure your handbag is at least 75% of the size of your entire body. Can carry small to medium pets, groceries, children, laptops and kitchen sink. All at once.

Well, that's all I got for now. I'm sure the fashion houses of France and Italy would be supremely interested in my feedback. I may drop them a line tomorrow.

Champagne wishes and $4,000 purse dreams.