Serial killers, Glade plug-ins, IP addresses and more

Just weird random ramblings in no particular order. After writing this I realized this is a long one. Go get a drink. Make it a stiff one and get me one too.

#1 If you have a glad oil plug-in fan thingy watch your back. I’m quietly studying on the couch last night and all of a sudden it sounds like there’s a serial killer wielding a vibrator coming towards me. Surprisingly enough, it was NOT the masked vibrator man (although maybe he’d be here for good and not evil….interesting thought) but the glade plug-in was going absolutely wheels off. It sounded a bit like a jet engine. I could almost see Tigger and Daisy being sucked towards the little fan and obliterated. Once again, this did not happen. But it got me to thinking, how dangerous are these little suckers? Is one of them going to spontaneously combust? And if so, since there’s oil in it will it be like Little House on the Prairie when a cow knocked over Pa’s oil lap and the place became engulfed in flames? (I have no idea if this was an episode, but I can’t imagine that it wasn’t) Once again My House, I was KIDDING about the fur thing!

I bet you’re wondering why I never went into a career in graphic arts. Sigh…so much wasted talent.


#2 When you go to the gym, do you talk on the phone? Do you talk to your friend next to you loudly? Well then, let me be the first to punch you in the face. Not much gets under my skin, but extraneous noise at the gym is one of those things. It’s not like the gym isn’t already noisy, but when I jump no the treadmill, iPod jammin’ and I’m really into running, the last things I want are for Mitsy and Bitsy to get on the treadmill beside me and start yappin about Ditsy and her disregard for office politics or how Zitsy can’t seem to keep her man. I don’t care. At all. And I can hear you. Yes, yes, I try to crank the up the iPod, but when my ears start to bleed and I can still hear you then you need to learn to use your inside voice. Please. I’m asking politely. (through gritted teeth) Also, can people not have alone time anymore? To be at peace with their thoughts and enjoy their workout? Do they have to be on the phone WHILE they work out? First, this is beyond annoying. Second, I guarantee you aren’t getting dick of a workout if you’re flappin’ your jaws on the phone. And you wonder why you're working out and getting no results? Get off the freakin’ phone!! Can you tell I had this experience recently? Mitzy and Bitsy were first. Then there was the lady behind me on the phone (although I didn’t see a phone, so maybe she was just psychotic, I didn't see a blue tooth either). Instead of raising a stink I moved treadmills after a mile of hearing muffled talking and not being able to drown it out. I move to a totally different section and pick up with my running. Then the dude behind me gets on the phone. I shoot him a look that I swear produced hot lava shooting out of my eyes. He got off the phone. Call me picky, call me quirky, call me what you will, but these things tick me off.


Again with the graphic artistry. Do you like how I’m wearing a crown and taking a shot out of a necklace at the gym? Do you like the guy’s cell phone? It’s the only side picture I had of myself people. Cut me some slack. Enjoy the lava.


#3 I often buy ponytail holders (hairbands, whatever) firstly because I have to hold my hair back, but my repeat purchases are done mostly because they disappear by the hundreds due to cat one and cat two. I was boiling eggs last night (and watching them carefully I might add) when I decided to look under the fridge to see if the bazillion that I am missing may have partially ended up here. It seemed like a spot that might look like a kitty hockey goal. This is what I found:

Then I pushed the fridge back into place. This is again what I found:

Here is the culprit in action and here are the results of my hunt. Yuck. Now we know where bad little hairbands go….the dusty dungeon!

#4 Not that this blog has been around for a terribly long time, but I decided to put on one of those nifty Stat Counters to see who was looking at my page. Ya know how when you were a kid you loved getting mail? Somehow, seeing that a different IP address has been looking at my sight is like getting mail as a kid. Exciting. Except for when I looked and 44% of you were here for 5.5 second or less. Excitement fading. That’s not really giving me ample time to give a good impression, agreed? Who are these surf-by people? How do they stumble upon my site for 0.0 seconds? Is my page that repulsive? I imagine someone stumbling across my page and then throwing their hands to their eyes before shrieking "NOOOO!" and hitting the x. But that in itself should take more than 0 seconds, right?

I've also noticed that just because it says an IP address is from one place doesn’t mean that the reader really is. For example, Annie shows up as Colorado and she’s in Texas. I realize I must be a dope when it comes to IP addresses. It took me a while to figure out I was the one bumping up my own number until I learned how to exclude my own. Excitement continuing to fade. Talk about narcissism. At this point, Annie is one of the only IP address that I know. The rest are safe, just IP addresses with no identity. Won’t you come out to play? I understand the no comment thing. I did it for about 9 months. But, I encourage you to post a comment and not be like me. I never encourage anyone to be like me. No one will laugh at you or throw things at you or say you’re stupid (at least to your face) so de-lurk! Let me know if I really do have a small following in Canada. Maybe you are all one person. Maybe you are all one person living in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. Feck, I don’t know. Oh! I even got a hit from Spain! How exciting is that? They stayed for 0 seconds. Did they like what they saw in 0 seconds? Will they invite me for tapas in Spain this fall? Maybe if this were in Spanish that would help….

Anyway, if you’re feeling brave, let me know who you are! Let me know that it’s more than 5 people that read this blog, but just from different computers. Hmmmm, I may be setting myself up for disappointment here. Kinda like in 6th grade when I threw a party and no one came. Oh, alright, that didn’t really happen, but it could have. You get the picture.

So that’s it. The ramblings for today. You will probably not get a post for at least a day or two (The disappointment of my 5 readers is almost audible) while I cram for my Marketing final. Is there such a thing as adult onset ADD? If so, I’m pretty sure I have it. And just when I got rid of the TB….such a shame.

Champagne wishes and IP address dreams