Well, around lunch time we decided on Dave and Buster’s for the evening. Okay, so it was more like me deciding since he doesn’t seem very good at coming up with plans. We decided to meet at 7:00….well, low and behold I have a freaking meeting that keeps me until 6 freakin 15 at work….ugh, I was still needing to go home, change, let the dog out and then drive kinda a ways to get there. Ack!! So I texted him and said let’s make it 7:30. I rushed home, threw on some clothes and left. I’m flying down the highway and realize a few things.
#1 I did not shave
#2 this should not be a problem as I don’t think I’ll be practicing my stripping moves at D&B
#3 Murphy’s law always applies to this shit.
#4 I am wearing new shoes that are not very comfortable…and we’ll be standing most of the evening. My toes are going numb. I’m wondering if I will be walking with a gimp limp by the end of the night. That is always super-attractive.
So I get there early as is always the case when I‘m trying to be a little late. Come to think of it, I should always apply this logic when going somewhere I need to be on time. Pretend I need to be late….but I digress. Anyhow, I exit the highway and decide just to drive around so I take a right instead of a left at the intersection. I realize there is a Dodge pickup behind me that looks kind of like TM. uh oh....I’m going the wrong way, maybe he’s following me and now I’m just driving through a neighborhood. I’m not sure why this was such a concern, but it was enough of one for me to do a u-turn in to very close oncoming traffic. It wasn’t him. I saw about 1200 Dodge pickups after that....they were surrounding me. I think maybe Charlotte and her sister sent them to do their bidding since they couldn't catch me in their web.
So I’m turned to go the other way….I decide to go get gas.
Still early (and have splashed some gas onto my shirt on accident). Just decide to go to D&B and wait.
7:14 Large man sneezes and gets sneeze overspray onto my shirt. Shirt now contains gasoline and snot.
7:15 Go into D&B. Hope nobody lights a match.
7:16 Discover I am hanging out in front of weird woman mannequin Zoltar kind of machine
7:17 Woman Zoltar speaks….sounds like tranny
7:18 Tranny Zoltar freaking me out, asking me if I want to know my lucky color for the day. Seems persistant.
7:19 Try to look the other way, wonder why lucky color is important, wonder if I should deposit 25 cents to make Tranny Zoltar happy with me.
7:20 Realize Tranny Zoltar has a little gray cat….cats eyes start to glow red.
7:23 Beady-eyed Satan cat’s eyes won’t shut off. Creeped out again (Daisy would totally be jealous of Tranny Zoltar’s cat, she totally wants red glowing eyes)
7:24 Move away from Tranny Zoltar. Afraid he/she will be able to have mind control shortly.
7:31 TM arrives!
TM and I hug and decide to go to the bar, we have a few drinks and some dinner (I had mini-burgers, Amy are you jealous?). We then proceed onto to play some games (my favorite). Okay, so I kicked his butt at almost every single game. Even basketball….by a lot. Have I told you I’m competitive? Have I told you I'm a dork (who touts that they are good at video and basketball games)? Funny thing was, during our time there some kind of switch just flipped. I was like ‘whatever’…not eye rolling 'whatever', but more of the shrugging shoulders 'whatever'. I was more relaxed on our date, was more myself, did whatever I wanted to do without concern if he’d ever call again (ie: beating him at all the games, other examples below), and I didn’t feel any kind of worry on what he thought or if this was going somewhere.
One more note:
9:00 Go to restroom. Ick. Forced to stand in pool of liquid while using restroom. Shirt contains gasoline and snot, hem of jeans contains urine and 12 diseases. Will have to call Hazmat team to perform cleanup.
Seeing as how I had this epiphany, I no longer really had any inhibitions or strong desire to 'follow the rules'. After we had gotten our fill of games we had another drink at the bar. I totally wanted to do something else and he asked, 'like what?' (he wasn’t familiar with the area) I noted that there was only a liqueur store and a Condoms to Go nearby, but that was all you needed for a night, right? He then made the point that the liquor store would be closed at this point (10:00). Hmmmm, so he’s interested in the other store, yes? I took a chance (since he IS a guy after all) and suggested another place (Condom Sense – much classier – har har) a little further away after he tells me he’s never been to one of those kind of stores. I asked him to allow me to de-virginize him. I realize this sounds major kink for a second date, but for some reason it wasn’t. We made the trek to the ‘good store’ and perused for 30 minutes or so. I will say it was a tiny bit awkward looking at ‘lifelike’ dolls and strap-ons with him, but we both got a good laugh out of it.
He drove me back to my cars, we kissed and said goodnight (okay we kissed for a few minutes before we said goodnight) and that was that.
Okay, Okay, I sense the disappointment....I didn’t give him ‘the talk’, it just never seemed to be the right time. Plus, I kinda just decided that if he calls, he calls, if he doesn’t he doesn’t and I’m not going to put too much stock in it. Just someone to hang out with every once in a while. That’s just how I felt by the end of the night. Heck, he could just end up being a drinking buddy or someone I see out at happy hours occasionally. I’m totally okay with that. Upon hearing this story earlier today, Annie was irate and suggested (forcefully I might add- Hi Annie!) that I don’t ever see him again due to his lack of promptness/callback ability. Eh, maybe, maybe not. Right now I feel pretty indifferent so we’ll see. This is certainly not precluding me from going out and meeting other potential guys. Heck, maybe I’ll have one for a few days of the week! One that calls Tuesdays, one on Thursdays and one on Sundays….
Champagne wishes and Tranny Zoltar dreams
....*not the ACTUAL Tranny Zoltar, but could be his/her brother/sister minus satan cat. This one obviously has the privledge of being outside unlike the D&B Zoltar. He/she must have told a lot of fortunes if you know what I mean.
4 comments:
I didn't go to law school to learn how to say things politely! :-) I'm going to buy Daisy the Tranny Zoltar machine for Christmas... then she'll like me!
I think you should have moved AWAY from tranny voltar around minute number one instead of waiting 15 minutes there.
Gasoline on women is an attractive smell for someone who works in the oil industry.
I think after your detour kinky second date, you can now invite him over. :)
Sounds like a fun date. I think there's nothing wrong with condom shopping on the second date... sets the mood for the third date.
That's hilarious about you beating him at games. I have a friend who told me it's always better to let the man win, but screw that!
I can't comment on the date because I can't get passed that part about standing in water in the bathroom. YICK!
Post a Comment