#1 On Saturday I’m at Target picking up a baby shower gift and otherwise perusing the aisles. Not to already get off topic, but I have the worst time staying on task at Target. I was headed towards the baby section, I swear I was, but then I just got drawn to the lingerie section. And the purse section. And the belt section. I finally made it to the baby aisle and loaded up on pink gear. On my way to go get a gift bag I ran into my co-worked Stefanie and her son Matthew. I had never met Matthew, I think he’s about 4 (I’m bad at judging kid age). Anyway, we were formally introduced and he was a total cutie patootie. He told Stefanie he had a ‘surprise’ for me after we had been talking awhile. She called his bluff expecting him to not have anything. Instead he said “I want to tell her that I think she’s really pretty”. Awwwwwwww, how cute is that? Now, he may say this to every passing stranger, man, woman, dog or cat, but let’s pretend otherwise. I thanked him and told him to call me in 20 years. What? Is that weird? Hey people, I’ll take ‘em where I can get them.
#2 As I’m driving back from my parents house on Sunday I have the windows rolled down even though it’s 5 million degrees outside. I do this so Gracie can stick her head out the window (go ahead, write me nasty letters on how she should be seat belted in). Anywho, I pull up to a stoplight and low and behold a SUV with three interesting characters in it starts kinda waving me down. The driver keeps giving me that ‘hi mami’ kind of look and it kinda bobbing his head to the music. A few stoplights later he’s in front of me but I can see him in his side mirror. He kinda does the head raise thing as if to say ‘wanna hook up?’. Does this work for any guys? Was this dude expecting me to nod and mouth ‘pull over’? Nevermind that for a split second I considered doing just that (I’m KIDDING!). THIS is the kind of attention I get most. Where’s the cute guy at the coffee shop that offers to buy my latte? Why must it be the skeezebag that offers free sex?
The universe is giving me a blender when I really wanted diamond earrings. The universe must be a man.
Megan's idea:
Universe's funny alternative:
Champage wishes and 'hi mami' dreams
4 comments:
LOL! Why do guys think the wanna hook up will work? yes I'm totally in to anonymous sex with some guy in an SUV
i don't think that car pick up thing ever works. i don't get it! and most days, i think the universe is a man too.
I lock my doors as soon as I walk into my car and look around suspiciously for potential rapists everytime I enter my car.
Me having anon sex with hey mami SUV guys with some weird rap song in the background?
Urm no.
but Mattie is schoooooo cute!
I don't think the cute guys will buy you a latte because they are too cheap and probably don't have a real job.
I just think that it's like spam, spammers send out a bazillion emails and maybe 1 person is into what they are selling. Same thing with these guys in the car. It's gotta work at some point to get them to keep doing it.
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