Down with the sickness

I just got back from the doctor and I’m actually feeling somewhat better. Maybe it was that steroid shot in the ass? So, I got a strep and a mono test and both were negative. When I questioned the doctor on how I could be getting this sick this close together she mentioned that it could be stress. Stress? Hmmmm, stress at work, starting my MBA, training for a 10k, staying out until 6 in the morning. What stress? So I’m not superwoman? Is this because I’m OLD? I didn’t think all these things were that big of a deal, but maybe I’m wrong.

So to totally drown my sorrows I went shopping at the grocery store. Ladies and gentleman it was BAD. Here is the list of things I got….things that NEVER find their way into my basket, but today flew into it with a vengeance. It was roid rage people! It wasn’t my fault!

Hot dogs (they were Healthy Choice at least)
Square cheese (ya know, the slices? 2% though)
Hot dog buns (BREAD?? Blasphemous!)
Fritos (uh oh, bitch is loopy)
Velveeta and Rotel (for the Fritos although I ate fritos in the car on the way home on their own)
TWO kinds of frozen pizza (my ass is growing just looking at these items)
TWO kinds of cookie dough (It’s like medicine!)
Diet coke (SEE, I AM healthy!)
Cloroseptic spray (so I don’t slit my wrists due to my throat pain)
Dayquil (because, ya know, the antibiotics aren’t enough)
Dog treats (not for ME, I’m not THAT crazy)
Pomegranate juice (yum, I never drink juice, but pom juice is supposed to work miracles!)
Oh, and a little jar of hot fudge, to put on what, I don’t know. Maybe I just need a spoon for that.

$53 for all of this goodness. I’m sure half of it will get thrown out or donated to work, but it all seemed so good and comforting I couldn’t resist.

Wow!! I just realized my nose is like two wind tunnels. I can breath so well…I didn’t think they were stuffy before, but maybe I was wrong. Ahhhhhhh, this is nice. These steroids are really working. Maybe I should go pump some iron now. I can get a 6 pack in a day, no?

I mentioned to the nurse about my kissing theory. She looked at me kinda crazy and suggested the mono test. Sooo, I decided not to ask the doctor. I’ve looked up on the internet about kissing and reoccurring infections. The only thing I found was mono. But now that’s ruled out. I had a friend tell me today that the next guy I kiss and doesn’t give me a raging infection shall be deemed “Mr. Clean”. Clever. Although that suggests TM is dirty and I really don’t think he is (she says in her most whiny voice). He’s not some arty fartsy type that occasionally sleeps on the streets and thinks food sold out of carts in back alleys is good. He’s a young professional that although flakey and somewhat alcoholic, really doesn’t seem to have a hygiene problem. In fact, all things considered, I would seem to be the one with the hygene problem since I dind't wash my jeans for three weeks (BUT I've only worn them twice, I SWEAR!!) I’m too scared to kiss him again people. What if I get sick AGAIN?

Well, I think I’m going to go now and eat some bad things. Sort of like the panties on the head comment, if tomorrow you see a girl with a pizza slice in both hands, cookies overflowing from her pockets and chocolate fudge smeared on her face walking down the street, please send me to home with a pound of apples and a pat on the head. Hopefully I don’t attack you with ‘roid rage’.

Champagne wishes and cherry on top dreams

Update! I found the perfect pictures to go with the messy face and panties on the head comments! Enjoy! (and check out the sweet furniture)