June has been a month of oddities

Really, it has. But first. Damn you Sarah Mclachlan and your ASPCA commercial! I want to stab my crying eyes out every time your damn commercial comes on. As if it's not bad enough that I already own three, slightly demented, highly neurotic animals, you make me want to run out and adopt every damn at, dog, bird and bunny from all my local shelters. This is not fair. In fact, this kind of advertising should be illegal. I'm just sayin. As if it wasn't already bad enough that I would feel the burn of a thousand hells if I ever dared purchase a dog from a breeder. I just can't do it. My Catholic guilt and strong neuroses won't allow it. And you shouldn't either. so there. That's me imparting my opinions on you, and then telling you that they're better than yours so you better follow them. K? Thxs. And may the ASPCA commercial haunt you forever more. Amen.


So this month has been strange. Just a weird series of events that aren't connected, yet seem cosmically so. First there's the issue of the freaks that get drawn to the triad that is Andrea, Tere and I. About a month ago (okay, so not June, but work with me here) we were all in the parking lot of Tom Thumb (or as Andrea says with her Colombian accent, Tom Tum). Anyway, as we are walking out to the parking lot, this middle aged bagger-dude stops us. "You ladies sure are radiant!" of course, Tere and I, the attention whores, say "why, thank you!" even though this guy is sorta weird. He goes on to tell us that he just got the Jimi Hendrix album 'Electric Ladyland' and that we remind him sooo much of it! Again, while Andrea gives him the stink eye, Tere and I say 'Thank you! that's so sweet!' Later, in the car, Andrea asks if we even know what that means. "No" Tere and I both reply. "so why did you thank him??" she said. Because we're Southern, dammit, and Southern girls are gracious and say 'thank you'. 'Whatever' Andrea said. 'He was creepy'. BUT we all started laughing and saying how we needed to put it on a t-shirt and how it MUST have meant nothing but good things and how from now on that will be our moniker. Fast forward to Monday. We look up said album on Wiki. And find this as inside album art.


















Oh. note to self, don't be so nice to creepy, middle aged baggers dudes.

Fast forward to last night and the three of us are together again. We go eat at a Mexican place and then decide to walk to the 99 cent store afterwards (nothing but class). On our way there we pass a Starbucks (since people who like items that are 99 cents also appreciate coffee that's 4 dollars). We pass a group of foreign (Turkish? maybe Greek?), older guys. They shout out 'Hey! we like your sunglasses!' Tere and I are both wearing sunglasses, hers white, mine brown. 'which ones?' Andrea asks as we continue to walk by. 'Both! We don't discriminate! ha ha ha ha ha!' Ew. Alright, whatever. So after our expedition (FYI, 99 cent store candy is not that great) we pass by them on our way back to the car. 'what did you ladies get???'. 'candy' we reply. 'whoooaaaa, ha ha ha, you like the sweets!' Um yeah. Then one guy pipes in 'Hey, can we suck on YOUR candy?'.
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That's my cue right there to exit stage left. Seriously? I was thinking of punching him in the face, but Tere was wearing uncomfortable shoes and we were really full ao we couldn't have run very fast. ew. ew. and double eeww. We attract the strange ones. I yelled 'Suck It old man!' as we drove away....

Let's see, what else. Oh! I had a few of blasts from the pasts! Remember Funny Guy? I haven't talked to him in months and months (ya know, around the time he stopped asking me out-ish) and out of the blue I get an e-mail from him. We had talked about documentaries on one of our dates and I had sent him a list of the 100 top grossing documentaries (doesn't that just oooze sex appeal??). Anyway, I get an e-mail from him in response to that e-mail (sent from me on Feb freakin 22nd) saying I should check out Morgan Spurlock's new documentary 'Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden' . Um, okay? how does one respond to this? So I simply said thank you and that I'd have to check it out. Haven't heard from him again. THEN, yesterday I got a Facebook request from a guy to be friends with him. I recognized him (his name) as the guy from eHarm who I had dinner plans with and then he backed out at the last minute claiming some kind of double-bookary with his granny. uhhhhh, okay. Anyway, once again, that was months ago and although he asked for a rain check, I never expected to hear from him again. and I didn't. until yesterday. I think I should mention that once I 'friended' him I realized he had just joined facebook. And has no pic. And two days later I am STILL HIS ONLY FRIEND. Does this seem strange to anyone else? I mean, he hasn't e-mailed or posted on my wall or anything else, and I feel like it would be slightly obvious if I 'de-friended' him. My warped sense of reality leads me to believe that this guy is going to show up in the parking lot at school one night and kill me. Since he's seen all my crazy Facebook pics. Because those pics make people want to kill me? Shit, I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. My neuroses confuse even me.

Like I said, none of these events seem connected, but somehow they all are. Baby Maker still tries to contact me at odd intervals, very late at night which I think is odd..so I don't answer. Well, I did once and we had a really boring conversation with no mention of going out (which was fine by me, but then why call?). Seriously, I'm half expecting my prom date to show up at my door just to see how I'm doing. Which would really be weird since he lives 3 hours away and is married with two kids. BUT YOU NEVER KNOW.

Well, off to go do a paper for school. It's due tomorrow so of course I wait until tonight. It's my theory of life. just in time. Not just for factories anymore!