It's only Tuesday?

Shit, it feels like it should be Friday up in this mo fo. Fo shizzle. This week has been entertaining to say the least. For the first time since I've had employees, someone put in their two-weeks notice. ack! I've had others move to different departments which is great, because really, my department hires right out of college and the expectation is there that this is kind of a launching pad into other departments at some point...but to have someone quit on me? blech. double blech because the timing is terrible, but I'll deal with it. Things can't always be butterflies, rainbows and vodka shots now can they? Or CAN they?

FYI, I am getting older. This fact seems to crop up now when I'm 31 more then ever before. I have an employee that just started who is 22 or as she likes to say "22 and a half". I'm like 'do NOT add that half! don't EVER add the half! You will pray to subtract a half (or a few wholes) in a few short years!' It hits me that this girl was born in 1985. this is surreal to me. She is almost 10 years younger than me. TEN years! As you can see, I'm handling the news well. At school last night I bemoaned to one of my good friends that I was starting to see fine wrinkles on my forehead (which is amazing since it has been covered by bangs for 95% of my life). 'I don't see anything' he said. 'OH THEY'RE THERE, you just have to look closer' at which point I got within an inch of his face, forcing him to examine my forehead. "okay, okay, but who's going to get that close to your forehead?' Oh great, I thought, not only am I a wrinkly, old prune, but does he also have to point out the fact that nobody's getting all up in my bidness close enough to see my in-desperate-need-of-botox face? As you can see, I will most certainly age gracefully. On the plus side a classmate/team member tonight thought I was 24...and NO, we don't grade our team-members in this class...sheesh. So cynical. But Lord knows I'd score her A+++ if we did. Flattery gets you everywhere with moi.

In addition to pointing out that I have no man to get lost looking into my newly formed wrinkles, this same friend mentions that the movie coming out '27 dresses' reminds him of me. I look at him like a crazed maniac and said 'THANKS'. Does he possibly have a hidden camera in my closet that lets him in on the fact that I have no less than 6 bridesmaid dresses in various stages of hanging in there? I mean, some of them have worked their way off the hangers and as I contemplate hanging them back up I think 'self, why do you need to hang this back up? When exactly are you going to wear it again?' I'm thinking a Bridesmaid of Frankenstein dress needs to be pieced together with all of them. THAT would be hot. Oh wait, I should probably hold off on that....I'm sure there will be a few more wedding I may be in. Wouldn't want one to miss out on the chance to make it to the whacked out bridesmaid dress. Don't worry friend-who-I-know-reads-this...I didn't actually take offence. But if you bring it up again, I'm kicking you in the head. ::punches palm with fist:: Kidding! love you!

So today in my Organizational Behavior class we took a personality test. I think it was called the Big Five. (actually I KNOW it was, I'm looking at the paper at this very moment...I baffle myself sometimes). Just like most tests, it asks you a bunch of questions that you could answer differently on any given day depending on whether or not your PMSing, whether your employee quit yesterday or whether or not you just joined an online dating service AGAIN for shits and giggles. I did get a kick out of a few questions. You ranked them from 1. very inaccurate to 5. very accurate. A few samples:

*I insult people <-- what do I say to that? like, to their face? I answered 2, but we all know some days that's a 5++
*I have excellent ideas <--AND I'm conceited too! I answered 3...middle of the road. most of the times my ideas suck.
*I often forget to put things back in their proper place <-- for me this was a 5 (shame!) but 'forget'? more like, 'too fuckin lazy'.
*I make a mess of things <-- as in, I shit on the carpet in social situations? as in, I often break up marriages? or as in I'm too incompetent to do my job and everyone thinks I'm a shit-for-brains? so many options....so subjective. BTW, those are not personal examples thankyouverymuch.

After answering all these questions, calculating the results was like an exercise in quantum physics, but finally we get the answers we're looking for. I scored really well in 'Emotional Stability' and not so great in 'Conscientiousness' which they say means I'm 'flexible', not 'focused'. The girl next to me asked if I knew when it was good to be flexible. 'when I want to ensure good grades in class?' What? is that not an appropriate response? What kind of question is that? And what's this about not being focused? Why, I have every mind to....oh look at the pretty flowers over there! What was I saying?

Anyway, if you need someone who's stable/resilient but will also make a pigsty out of your place and forget to call you back give me a call (not that I'll remember to return it). Not sure how this helps me in the corporate world, but judging by what my desk currently looks like, I'd say it was spot-on.

As a parting comment, my teammates in the class all scored exceptionally low in 'emotional stability' and 'extroversion' They therefore dubbed me the 'presenter' for all our projects. I chose not to argue...since they are an emotional unstable bunch. See, these assessments DO come in handy! I learned who not to fuck with....they may actually BE the type to follow through with a 'kick to the head' threat.